After reading the black lash about Reggie Bush being on the February cover of Essence Magazine, it clearly made me think. A lot of folks believed he shouldve been the last person choosen for the cover since he isn't dating a black woman. Essence's reputation is 'Where Black women come first'. Yes I respect a person decision to choose whoever they want to be with, how can I not? I've dated outside of my race plenty of times, I let my heart decide, not what society deems as a suitable candiate for me. As a black woman I am sadden by what men think of black women as a whole. Yes there are unsavory people but you can find that in all races not just the black woman.
Black woman was raised to be the backbone of the family. To be the one who everyone ran to, to be the description of strength but who does the black woman run to? Who'll be there to comfort her when she desperately needs it? I always hear about the 42% of black women who will never get married, and I'm already sick of that statisic. In my mind, I'm considered a picky person, I want the best of a man. Who wouldn't? I never wrote down the things I wanted in a partner because it changes, plus I'm willing to accept a lot of things, I'm very flexible. However should I lower my standards because a man can just go and find someone else who will do the things he requires? That's with anything and any man!! I think in some situations black men have become lazy. They no longer want to take time to put effort into actually meeting someone new and cultivating a friendship/relationship. With so many ready and willing to drop their draws for a man, it makes it harder for that girl who wants to wait. I also believe women are forgetting how Powerful they really are!! A man can't make a move (on your body) without your ok. There are men willing to put the effort in BUT they have realized their worth so they know how many women are vying for their affections.
I grew up hearing black is beautiful so what happened? Why are black women not represented on the arms of the elite? Why don't I see more of the women who come in all shades of mahogany walking red carpets of the Emmys, Grammys or even the Oscars? Was the black woman who supported that 'man' when all he has was a dream, only there to push you forward but when you finally made 'it' you decided to ditch her for another race? Why is it that we don't find pride in our own race? Now don't get me wrong, I think love is blind and whoever makes your heart flutter then be with them. It only becomes a problem to me, when you try to distance yourself from that black queen because in our society, you've only made it when you have a white woman on your arm. Of course I think black woman deserves to be recognized as the queens they are and sometimes we do get a bad image in society but you have the get to know each woman for themselves. Sometimes i think women are held to a higher standard than other races. It's like if we get a lil loud, we're automatically labeled ghetto or birds, for example. I just want a society where black woman are able to get a fair chance at love, is that really too much to ask?
-T.Jonez
Sent from my iPhone
