Happy Dead Beat's Day

Fathers day is coming up and Im questioning myself if I should call my piece of shit father. I havent decided as of yet. We havent spoken in months so I dont really feel the need to call and say anything. And isnt Fathers Day recognition to the father who are actually in their kids lives? I mean I would think they should be recognized if they are doing something and he isnt. When I needed a father he wasnt there. Pride is a powerful thing! SMFH!

Then his birthday is two days later so Im really wondering If I should call. I dont have a problem with him just dont want to be bothered with him u know. Im content with not talking to him. So this phone call isnt like lets be friends, lets work out the problems simply because Ive done that before and he just doesnt give a fuk so I dont feel the need to try again.

Decisions Decisions.

Fun Times

Shit its really been almost three months to the day since I last wrote. WTF is going on with me? I mean yea for a while I could only write depressing works and I really wasnt in a place where I wanted to share that. Im tooo... everything! I def always seem to share more than what Im supposed to so consider this me scaling back. (shrugs shoulders)

I've been wanting to write for the past week but was too lazy to actually pick up my laptop for more than anything other than indulging in tv shows and movies that I've downloaded who know how long ago. Like today I spent several hours watching season two and three of United States of Tara. Yup just sitting & laying my ass on the couch. Is this what my life has been reduced to? I feel like Im without purpose. I've always been without a plan, just winging it. But now Im feeling like Im just walking around aimlessly.

So much shit is going on. Like If I told u I would feel embarassed. Maybe humilated? Idk Its so fucking frustrated dealing with the shit I have to deal with mostly because its in part because someone (not me) didnt handle their business and do what was needed. Ahhh thats neither here or there, whats done is done. So the motto is keep moving forward right? Then thats what I'll do.