Baby Weight

Dear Jonez, My girlfriend is pregnant but I'm not sure if I want her to keep it. I love my girl very much but right now isn't a good time to bring a child into this world. I haven't been motivated enough to go to work on a regular basis so I've been spending money from my savings. My girl is scared and I console her as much as needed, but am I wrong for thinking she should abort?
-Possible dead beat Dad

Dear PDBD,
It's normal to feel scared during this time. Every future parent question their ability to be a good provider, and a good role model. As well provide their child with things the life they themselves didn't have. I commend you for being there for your girlfriend as you should be. Are you wrong for wanting her to have an abortion, that depends on who you ask, but I will say this, If the possibility of her having a child scared you then as much as it does now then you shouldve used a condom. You may not have been motivated before but you now have a lil life that's going to depend on you 'Dad' so I believe that's enough motivation you'll ever need. Just trust on yourself, keep being there for your girl and everything will be fine. P.S Send me a photo when the baby is born please, I would love to show the world, your pride and joy. -TJ

In my absence...

Im sorry I havent written anything since the 27th but Ive been a VERY BUSY woman. My boyfriend's birthday was yesterday (Sept.30)he turned 23! I wanted it to be something for him to remember forever, and thanks to great execution & great planning it was. At first I was planning a trip to Miami for about 3 days but then I didnt like all the hurricanes and tropical storms that had been occurring so frequently. I only thought of a trip because for my 22nd birthday he took me to Atlantic City for a week and I didnt have to pay for anything! I scratched the trip thing but I still needed something to make up for that. I also had to think of a gift that would blow his mind. Earlier in our relationship he mentioned soemthing about a wallet, so I was like cool, I'll get that. I looked at Louis Vuitton (Wayyyy to damn expensive), Fendi (Just plain ugly), and Gucci (Which was cheaper than louie but too plain) I finally settled on Coach! It took me about two weeks to really decide on if thats what I really wanted to get him. I purchased it at the last minute on my way to pick up the cake. Now about the cake, My plan was to pick up the cake and take it to his granny's house so that his fam could come and get in on the action. Well that didnt go according to plan, I was late waking up (tell you about that in a minute) so I wasn't going to have time to bring the cake back to brooklyn from upper manhattan so I called the restaurant to let them know I was going to bring the cake there. Remember I had to do all this alone and by 7:30 when we had to be at the restaurant. So that my boyfriend wouldn't get suspicious I told him I was going to pick up my dry cleaning, in manhattan, I didnt want him to know I was picking up a cake! The evening turned out so well, he enjoyed the food (Shout out to Mo Bay Uptown) and I enjoyed the drinks. After we had dinner the waiter brought out the cake(pictures soon) While he was eating the cake, I pulled out the coach bag from my purse and his face was so in shock, he couldnt do anything but laugh. I was happy that all the gifts had been giving and it was finally over.
Oh wait, theres more.... On Monday (the day b4 his bday) I gave him a present of all his favorite things, which including cds, bath products and lotions. I also suprised him with 5 delicious cupcakes from ButterCup Bake Shop in manhattan, which said 'Happy Birthday Hakeem love Tristan! I never seen a person jump as high as he did. I was just excited that he loved his gifts! We went to the movies to see Eagle Eye, an extremely good movie, then we went to Cafeteria (a restuarant that stays opened 24/7) He enjoyed that too. We ended up getting back to Brooklyn at 4am, thus the reason I couldn't get up the next day! Even though I had a good time both days, Im more than happy that It's ALL OVER!!!!
~Tristan Jones

Like Father, NEVER!

Dear Jones,
Im in a dilemma and if I dont get out of it and quick then I could possibly be going to jail for murder. I recently moved back home to live with my father until my condo was finished being renovated. At first everything was peachy but then he tried to get controlling. Im a twenty-five yr old grad student so I dont follow rules besides the ones I make for myself. Don't get me wrong I respect his house by not having company of any gender, buying my own groceries, and being in the house most nights by midnight. It seems as though that just isnt enough. He has now tried to make me pay 'rent' for the duration of my stay. I refuse to pay him anything, for two reasons,(a) I have rent of my own to pay and (b) he works just like I do so he should have money of his own. My dad tells me he has this rule in place so that I learn how to be responsible... Can he be for real?
- Daddy's lil Monster

Dear DLM,
Maybe he is just going through whats known as CLG disorder its a period in parents where they realize their children are no longer 'babies' and try to do their best to keep you as a child. It could be the reason he is becoming so controlling, he's trying to protect you from the world, but has to understand that its YOUR life and those are your mistakes to make. It may take him a minute or two to come to grips with the fact your not a kid anymore but be patient with him. And about the 'rent', my father tried to do that once with me but he came to reality when the cops were picking him up off the living room floor, surprisingly he NEVER asked about rent after that. (Laughing)
~Jones

Dream Killa

"I've earned the chance to go to Los Angeles" I yelled getting frustrated
"How do you figure you earned that opportunity?"
"I maintained a 3.5 gpa my senior year even though I had just lost my mother, you kept putting me out, and I didnt have a single shoulder to lean on."
"I didn't keep putting you out, I told you to correct your attitude and you refused. I'm not going to have anybody living in my house disrespecting my man."
"Thats your main problem, you put this as*hole before everything else. It's like he has you under a spell. I don't even think you realize how stupid he has you looking. . ."
It was hard to believe that I once looked up to Mercedes, my older sister. I hated even more that my mother had died in a car accident a few months ago and Mercedes was granted temporary custody of me. I was seventeen but beyond capable of taking care of myself. I knew I could do a better job of taking care myself than my sister was doing. Today's arguement was just the same as the last. I had just turned 18 and my sister refused to let go of my share of the money from my mothers insurance policy. I secretly wondered if she even had any money left.
"Hello earth to Melody"
"Yes?"
"Dont try to ignore me, that's your problem now, you swear you know everything!"
"Mercedes please, I haven't asked you for a dime. I even went out and got a job so that I could provide for myself. I don't think I'm asking for a lot just for money that was left to me."
"Is that what this is about?"
"Duh!" I said rolling my eyes
"Do you really think I'm going to give u that money so you can blow it on bullsh*t?" Mercedes said laughing in my face.
"I already gave you a detailed plan about where the every dime of the money was going. Even though that was extensive, I did it anyway. I don't know why your so against this."
"I'm against you going all the way out there, besides you don't know anyone out there. What if something happened to you?"
"I don't have anybody to turn to here either. I've never wanted anything more than to be a make up artist. I feel alive when I'm mixing colors, or dolling someone up for prom, I know in my heart that this is the right thing for me." I said feeling confident that she would finally give me the money I needed for cosmotelogy school.
"Melody Im sorry but I don't have anything for you." Mercedes said as she walked out the door
"You effin Bit*h!" I said screaming at the top of my lungs. I couldn't believe how selfish my own sister was. I knew from that day that I would push myself to the max to show her I could do anything I put my mind to, especially without her help.

...In the mind of Trist,
I wrote this to give courage to dreamers who believe enough in their talent to go out and do something about it. Its very eazy to sit back and critique what someone else is doing, when they aren't doing anything. Even when you do not believe in yourself, there is someone in the background who believes, just trust in what they see. Unforunately the character in this entry didnt become a make up artist, but instead she grew into a brilliant writer... Care to guess who?? (Smiling)
~Jones

Breathe Much?

Dear Jones,

I've been dating my boyfriend for about two years, I love him however I'm sick (more like sick and tired) of his jealousy. When we were dating he was very aware of how good looking he was and that made me fall for him even more. I love a man who is extremely confident about himself. Anyway about eight months into the relationship he very slowly started changing. Trey, my boyfriend, gets mad at the dumbest things and I'm more than tired of killing myself to make him happy. So should I continue to stick it out with him or should I count my loses and move on?
-Beautiful but Faithful

Dear BBF,
How sick are you? If you're really tired of his jealous ways and insecurities then you'll be making your way to the door. Yes, I know you love him (and love's a beautiful thing) but for him to take you serious you have to do more than talk. If Trey wants to save the relationship then he will take heed to all the "talks" you had with him, start making improvements to his attitude and find you to beg that you'll take him back. And If he never comes back then write it off as his lost and a lesson learned.
-Jones

Im in Debt!

Dear Jones,
Im ready to leave the relationship with mi girlfriend but I feel obligated to stay. She took care of me including my bills, along with all the household bills while I was out of work for four months. My feelings for her have since changed but I feel If I leave she'll think I was only using her(Which I wasn't) until I got back on my feet. Im still finding my way but I did find a job and have been paying the bills on my own. Don't get me wrong, I care deeply about her, just NOT in love with her anymore. How do I leave without hurting her? HELP!
-Detached but Attached

Dear DBA,
COMMUNICATION is truly the key to a healthy and long lasting relationship or friendship. You have to tell her how you really feel, and soon, because it will only get worst as time goes on. I assume the relationship wasn't always about her taking care of you and you was doing things for her when you were able to. I assume she took care of you, not because you asked, but because she genuinely wanted to. That she did it out of the kindness of heart and not because she was looking for something in return. Unfortunately relationships dont always last forever and ever but you owe it to her to be as honest as you possibly can. Break ups will NEVER be easy, especially when you love that someone. If she gets discourtesy with you and demand you move out(if your living together), demand you return what she brought(clothes or shoes), or demand monies for gadgets brought(cellular phone, PS3, etc) then move out immediately, return what you can, and pay her for gadgets brought but try to keep the peace while doing so. Remember this she's going to feel slighted either way, so just make your exit a peaceful one.
-Jones

19 and . . . Married?

... Renacted by Kia Collins
"Guess What?"
"What?"
"I'm married!"
"What?!"
. . . To say I was in a state of shock is an understatement. My little sister Sanaa who is only nineteen just got married. My emotions were conflicting, on one hand I was thrilled that Sanaa was married but on the other I worried that she had just made a terrible mistake.
"Sanaa what in the hell made you do this? Marriage is not something to be taken lightly."
"I know and I'm not taking it lightly. I love my Brandon and he loves me."
"Love has nothing to do with marriage."
"Kia you sound crazy. Are you sure your the eldest? Marriage and love goes hand in hand. We felt getting married was the ultimate way to show each other our true committment." Sanaa explained
"I can understand but at the same time you have to understand where I'm coming from. Your only nineteen and yes you've lived through some experiences but there is so much more of the world left to be seen."
"And I can still see them. I'm married not dead!"
"Same difference!" I said laughin but meaning every word.
Sanaa joined me laughing.
"Sometimes it take couples a lifetime to realize they are ready for the trials that a marriage can take you through. A marriage is a job and you don't get any days off from, no sick leave and no compensation for overtime."
"I can't explain anymore than saying I feel in my heart that Brandon and I was made and molded for each other."
"Ok so if you feel that strongly about him why couldn't you two have waited until you was 21. By waiting you two could have strength your friendship and ultimately your relationship. . ."
... In the mind of Trist,
A good friend of mine recently confessed that she had gotten married. My first reaction was that of shock, surprise and dismay, but only because I wasn't invited. But then I realized Toya was only 19. As a child, I would always say I would never get married and Im staying true to that. I guess because even as child I knew that the reality of marriage being forever was unlikely. Our Society, today, is too obsessed with quick fixes to any problem, long and short term. I don't think 'quick fixes' are the solution to any problems within a marriage. I guess Im scared that I'll get married, my husband will cheat on me, then I'll be going to JAIL, for murder, so yea MARRIAGE isnt for me. (Laughing)

-Tristan Jones

Am I Dreaming?

Dear Jones,
I've been with my girlfriend for a little over two years and I'm in love. Christina, my girl, is everything I could want in a partner. She's gorgeous, intelligent, she motivates me, cooks and brings home the bulk of our income. Sounds perfect Right? Well it is but I can't stop thinking about my ex girlfriend Stacy. Stacy only made one mistake while we were together but that one slip up cost us our relationship but I still have feelings for her. I'm stuck because I'm not sure if I should remain faithful to Christina (which I have been since we met) or if I should date Stacy (on the side) just to see if it could possibly work again.
-Mr.Right

Dear MR,
I commend you for being and staying faithful (thus far) to your current beau. But isn't that what a monogamus relationship consist of? If Christina is the girl of your dreams, then why would you give that up for a dream deferred? Obviously Stacy is the wrong choice, but you don't need me to tell you that, you did break up with her. Right? A relationship with Stacy will never work simply because you are both still the same as when you dated before. Whatever situation made you dump her the first time will happen again. So why jeoperdize your dream girl? Now dating Stacy will do two things, (A) ruin your relationship with Christina and (B) crush your chances of a real relationship forming with Stacy. So MR I advise you to really think about if Stacy is really worth you losing what have built with your dream girl. . . But somehow I doubt she is.
-Jones

It's my Baby Daddy

Dear T.Jones,
I'm thirty one, nine months pregnant and engaged to be married. I should be enjoying this wonderful time in my life but instead I'm stressing because I don't know who I'm pregnant by. I had a one last 'one night stand' with my ex lover while my fiancée was on a business trip. So it's very possible that he could be my childs father. So now I'm stuck on what I should do next.
-Too old for effin errors

Dear Tofee,
This bundle of joy comes before all else! This baby will be solely depending on you for eveything, EVERYTHING! So wake up and start using your head. As for your ex lover and fiancée, you need to be honest with both men. Do I expect your fiancée to be understanding and stay with you? NO. . . And you shouldn't either. But that's the choice you made when you willingly laid down and cheated on him.
-Trist

Jealous of me???

Now Im not the richest person in the World, Or the prettiest person in the World, Or even the SMARTEST person in the World so Why In the WORLD would someone be jealous of me? I do the best I can with what I have. I can't afford designer labels or bags but to me its never been about labels. I try my best to treat everyone the way that I would like to be treated but I do have times when my attitude takes over but Im old enough to apologize when Im wrong. Im one of the nicest people, you may meet but dont cross me, because my forgiveness doesnt come easy. I hate when people look at whats going (with me) on the outside and think damn she has it all. What you may see and what it really is, is two completely different things. Yesterday I learned a valuable lesson, people will and can look you in the face everyday but secretly hate you and everything you stand for. I refuse to let this person believe they have the best of me, because I could never let anyone see me sweat! What saddens me more is I actually tried to help this person but 'you can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink'. Sometimes I want to be that 'mean girl' who spits on you while your down or make sure that you stay down. I know that every dog has its day so Im not going to worry myself about getting anyone back for words said. Look at what I am, IM A WRITER, so I have to respect someone's opinion although I dont have to like it!

To 'Nasty Jealous Girl'

If you dont like the life YOU lead then change it! You're the only one who can make the change in your life. Im sorry that I dont have sex with men for weed bags, Im sorry that I consider my body a temple and I make sure I take care of it(inside and out). Im sorry that I found someone who loves me for me and not what I can give them, or do for them! Maybe if you stop running around claiming to be a 'gang member', someone will want to help you. At the end of the day, all you have is family so once you eff that up, you have no one. But having no one is quite alright, if you can depend on yourself. Im sorry if I work hard for everything I obtain and I make sure I cherish all that I have. Im sorry if you think you have the right to treat me a certain way and Im going to allow it because even though Im a lady and fighting is for kids, Push me enough and I will BEAT THAT AS$!

Forgive Me?

I've been so caught up in (fake) work that I havent had time for my (real) job which is writing. I was working on a few titles last night, 'Cheaters never win', 'Love cant be real if you Pay', and 'Real Independant Woman DONT depend on their man'. I couldn't decide which to post so I ended up not posting anything. Please dont be too mad with me and tomorrow (hopefully) I'll have two wonderful and intelligently put together blogs for your enjoyment. Oh and very soon I'll be posting an excerpt from my debut novel, 'In the Moment'.

Gotta Love ME!

Want a Brownie?

Who wants a Brownie cuz I don't, well not anymore. Growing up I never had a pet puppy. I've had fish, lizards, turtles and birds but never a doggie. Well I finally got my wish granted with the addition of an bleu nose pit bull. From the moment he was carried into the house I knew I was in love. I was scared I was going to hurt him so I hesitated to pick him up but my boyfriend assured me that I wouldn't. For about an hour we played with him trying to come up with a name for him, instantly I came up with Brownie and that's what we stuck with. The other choice was King, but I wasn't thrilled with it. My boyfriends mom made a bed out of a cardboard box and supersoft blanket. We went to the bodega and brought a few cans of soft puppy food. (Side Note: Never buy soft food, Brownie had diarrhea for three days) We went to pathmark and got Brownie some hard food, I think it was puppy chow anyway he loved it. Brownie has been at the house for about two weeks and the excitement is over. I never wished for sleep the way I do right now. At seven in the morning everyday he starts crying at my bedroom door, but it's not the kind you can ignore. So now I have to get up to open the door and try to put him back to sleep. Of course that doesn't happen because he's been sleep for the past few hours so now he wants to play. So finally he goes back to sleep after being up for two hours, it's now 9am and I have to start getting ready for work in an hour so it makes no sense to go back to sleep. Then he pees everywhere! I'm so tired of him peeing on the floor instead of the newspaper I've put down for him. I can't lie because he has been going on the newspaper lately. Taking care of a puppy is extremely tiring and now as an adult I see why my mother always told me I couldn't have one. The good news is he isn't my dog so I'm not obligated to care for him but I love him so I do it anyway. Want a Brownie? I bet you do but you can't have him! (Laughing)

-Tristan Jones

Family Matters

Dear Miss Tristan J,
My sister and I get along sometimes but I'm tired of her disrespecting me when she feels like it. I've been holding back from smacking the sh*t out of her because she's my little sister but soon that won't make a difference. Lil' sis keeps threatening to 'back me down' because I won't allow her to bring random dudes into the crib, leave dirty dishes into the sink or leave dog sh*t lying around. (Side Note: To back someone down means to shoot them with a gun) She doesn't contribute to any bills or household chores. She's nasty as hell, doesn't bathe, so I can't see why any dude would want to sleep with her period. To get to the point, Should I allow her to continue to live in the house or should she be put the eff out?
-I'm not the One

Dear INTO,
Siblings are going to fuss and fight, it's human nature but what your describing is on a different level. Now I'm glad you haven't smacked her because violence won't solve anything. But I don't expect you to be a punk either, do what you have been doing as far as ignoring her. If it gets to the point that you have to get physical well then beat the hell out of her so that she knows not to play with you anymore but INTO remember that should be your last resort. To answer your question, should she continue living there is tough to answer, esp since she's family. She's causing a ruckus, unnecessary drama, she doesn't contribute to any of the chores or bills and on top of everything she's a dirty individual. If she's not willing to start doing something and fast then maybe she should find a new place to call home. As far as the dudes she brings home, they should be the most careful, just like the saying goes 'when you lie down with dogs you rise up with fleas'

-Tristan Jones

Fake A*s friends

Hey everybody, I'm taking the pen and paper away from Miss Jonez tonight, with her permission of course, to get somethin off my chest. I'm tired of fake a*s people pretending to be real. If I sound disgruntal that's because I am. Matter fact get comfortable so I can explain. Let me take you back to about two yrs ago. I had just started working at a gucci specialty store on fifth avenue in New York. I'm not the type of person who can stay to herself but I tried my best. I pretty much got along with everbody there but this one chick, Nadia, rubbed me the wrong way. She never did anything to me I just didn't like her. I kept my distance for about six months then out of the blue we started talking. Don't ask me about what cuz I couldn't tell you, the point is we started talking. We actually formed a tight a*s bond and started chilling outside of work. I was her bold friend that wasn't scared to speak her mind and speak it loud. And she was my quiet friend who knew the proper times to say the right things. I taught her how to b heard without saying a word and she taught me how to curse someone out without actually cursing. No our friendship wasn't a walk in the park sometimes she made me want to punch her dead in the face but she came at a time when I didn't have a friend to lean on. I guess her turning out to b fake was my fault I shouldn't have put so much trust in her. I had always told her I wanted to travel and mos def move to a city other than new York. She seemed cool wit it until I took a spontaneous trip to Miami for an interview. When I called her from the beach she went bizzerke telling me I was a fu*ked up friend for just up and leaving, how could I be so selfish and a bunch of other bullsh*t but mind you I hadn't moved, I was just seeing if Miami could be an option for me. Nadia was so quick to blow up that I hadn't had a chance to really explain anything past 'Girl Im in Miami and I wish you was here'. I never got the chance to explain but I didn't really want to after she blew up at me. I decided that I was going to let her believe what she wanted. Well anyway fast forward to maybe three month ago. I was in my closet searching for clothes to give away when I came across my old phone book. I found her number but I debated on whether or not I should call, 'fu*k it just call' I said to myself, so I did. We talked, she was surprised to hear from me. I wanted to wait to drop the bomb on her but she brought up Miami,

'So how is Miami?'

'I wouldn't know, I live in Brooklyn'

'Brooklyn? Brooklyn New York?'

'umm hmm'

'Oh snap I feel so stupid'

'You should'

She was shocked and embarassed that she had jumped to conclusions. I didn't care either way, I felt she couldve called to clear up any feelings she may have had on her chest. She chose to stay mad which was silly on her part. She promised to call now that we were back in contact which was Bulls*it. It's been damn there two months and I haven't heard from her yet. I wasn't calling so we could be best of friends again, so she really didn't have to tell me what she thought i wanted to hear. At the end of the day she turned out to be one of those fake a*s friends that I cant stand so much.

Later, oh and I'm Stepanie Miller, a true friend of Trist J

Chicago Bound

So for some reason I believe that my writing 'Career' can really pop off in Chicago. I have no real clue as to why I feel that way but for the longest I have. I've always pictured chi*town as this chic place where there was nothing but cafe's and poetry lounges where people got on stage and performed. As far as I know this could very well be true but then again Chicago is a city riddled with gangs and violence. And yet this is still somewhere I want to jump start my career as a writer. Maybe I watched 'Love Jones' one times too many. I watched on as Nia Long and Lorenz Tate lite up the screen with their photography and poetry. I longed to be that creative vixen who could be as passionate about love as I could be about writing. Everytime I watched was everytime I cried because life tore them apart but chicago brought them back together. I really felt their love was fueled by their intensity for self expression. I want to be able to arouse someone emotions through the stroke of my pen. I really believe I'm destined to go to Chicago. While in high school I was determined to produce a documentary about gang life in Chicago. I was and still em infatuated with bloods, crips and vice lords. I did a little research and found I hadn't even scratched the surface of top gangs in the city. I still have the desire to produce a documentary but I don't want to focus solely on the negativity of the lifestyle. Even though I have yet to step foot in Chicago, I know it's a beautiful city. I tend to see the good in everything especially places. Growing up in Baltimore made me aware of the violence and the turmoil but living close to the harbor made me appreciate the beauty of nature. Ever since then I've been finding the beauty in everything, and chi*town is no different. As you can imagine my family is totally against it but I don't expect them to understand. I have a dream in my heart and if I don't explore my inner ambitions I'll surely die wondering how my life wouldve turned out. I would love their support but I dont need it. I can't recall my family members ever stepping out on solely their dreams and faith. Chicago has been in my heart too long for me not to give it a chance. Plus if its the worst mistake of my life I can always come back to New York, I just have to make sure I buy a round trip ticket (Laughin) With Luv, Trist J

Introduction

Bonjour, Hola, and what's good! My name is Tristan Jones and I'm a wannabe writer. I say 'wannabe' because I haven't really put anything out there to be read. I wrote a book about two hundred pages or so last year after my first love committed suicide. I never planned on being a 'writer' I just knew I had a story and I needed to get out. My life hasn't always been the picture perfect scenes I most often try to paint in my writings but I'm grateful for every painful memory recorded in my heart. In this blog Im just giving myself the outlet to speak as freely as I chose. Hopefully this will be a place you can come to and be yourself only here if not anywhere else. Happy Readings! Oh and always feel free to drop me a line or two.

-Tristan Jones