Wednesday, April 7, 2010

According to Jonez

Dear Jonez,
My ex broke up with me a yr ago he has a girlfriend but tells me that he still has feelings for me.....now u dnt know what to do bcuz I always loved him n my feelings never changed.... I had somewhat two other relationships after him which didn't last long... Maybe it was bcuz physically I was tryna move on but my heart soul n mind was still with him.he told me that if I give him that chance to make it up to me for all the cheating he would show that he's changed for the best n how he doesn't love the person he's with now cuz she gets mad cuz all he does is talk about me... I want him back so bad but I'm so confused..I think about will it work will he actually leave her alone will he cheat on me again or do he just want me back bcuz now I play like I don't care..... Please help!!!!!!!
-R

Dear R,
Im not sure going back to him should be the move you make right now or in the near future. I know it sucks (Royally) to not be with the person you love the most but he made his choice when he cheated on you. You said "All the cheating", so Im assuming it was more than once? Ignorance is bliss until you find out what your significant other is doing behind your back. Do you think he would take you back if he knew you cheated on him multiple times?
Your ex is wrong for expressing his feelings to you when he still has a girlfriend. If he doesnt want to be with the one he is with then why is he with her? I seriously doubt his girlfriend is forcing him to stay with her. I dont know him to know if he is truly a changed man but it doesnt seem so.
After a break up, its crucial to take time to be single and enjoy that time alone. Being single isnt a curse, its def a blessing because you dont have to deal with anyone's emotions besides your own. You have to give yourself time to be able to move on. After my own break up I took about a year and half to be single. As much as I wanted to have a bf and be with my ex I knew I needed to put my own emotions in check.
I think if you have all these questions about how life would be with him again, then maybe you should think twice about letting him back into your life. Your heart may not be able to handle a break up and I would hate that. Sometimes the emotional damage will become a pattern for the next relationships you will have. I dont think your ex is trying right now. If he really wanted to be with you, then he would be trying to court you. He would be SINGLE, he would be trying to take things slowly, get to know you again, making plans for movies, and dinner and just showing you hes different. Anyone can talk a good talk but the proof is in his ACTIONS.
I would def hold off on making him your boyfriend, hell I would even stop talking to him for a while. Right now your focus should only be on you and making yourself better. Trust me, the right man will come along when you least expect it and sweep you off your feet. However he cant do that, if your still holding a dirty broom (Your Ex)

-Tristan Jonez

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