Love Lost

"I won't tell your secrets Your secrets are safe with me I will keep your secrets Just think of me as the pages in your diary"

Diary by Alicia Keys

Listening to this song today in present time makes me smile at the great times that we shared and cry at the fact you're not here anymore. I was someone's diary once upon a time, I was the one who held all of their secrets, their dreams and their past. I had never felt love like this until 'Lee' came into my life. He was such a cool drink on a hot day, he was refreshing to be around. No matter what was going on his life (Believe me there was a lot) he made sure I was his #1 priority. It saddens me to think about 'Lee' only because we could never be together again. He committed suicide on New Years day of '07. Im not sure If I even 100% got over that lost. I mean I still believe he is going to call, or im going to run into him when Im upstate but that never seems to happen. 'Lee' was the only man I've dated that I saw a forever future with. It was like we just clicked! We never had an arguement, but yes we disagreed from time to time, however we calmly listened to each other. It was the perfect relationship and I do feel since he is gone, that a big part of me is missing too. I've stopped comparing other guys I date to him but Its still hard to accept that he is really gone. I loved 'Lee' with my whole heart. . . Its crazy thinking back on the love we shared. Love like that doesnt happen everyday but Im hoping to experience that again in my lifetime.

~Jonez

P.S RIP Ali Sidney (Forever and a Day)