I don't know what is but I'm feeling so down today. Ever since I got to work, I've just been out of it. I think I just been so wrapped up with the harassment of "Bob" that I haven't had time to really get excited about my trip, or the good things that have been going on lately. I guess its just now hitting me that I was taken advantage of, and that feeling is the worst in the World. I'm so upset, but not because "Bob" betrayed me, but because I believed in him. The money and the items he stole from me, I can always get back, but he can never get that respect back. I know better than anyone that relationships can turn sour, but I lost time that I can never get back.
I know that things happen for a reason but "Bob" is still in my mental and I so want him out of there. I don't want to let this situation stop me from being myself, and acting the way I normally do but I cant help it. I don't want to meet anyone, I don't want to have a connection with anyone, I don't want to date anyone, I don't even want to be bothered with anyone simply because I'm scared of going thru this again. I know its going to take time for this feeling to go away but I want to be rid of my ex.
Sometimes, I look at myself and wish I'd been smarter to see his bullsh!t for what it was. As much as I don't want to be bitter and wish bad things for him, I cant help but to feel that way. "Bob" stirred up a lot of unnecessary things to happen with me and now I have to deal with the consequences. I just hope my life returns to semi normality soon.
~J
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