Dear Diary,
I long to 'fit in', to just be like everybody else. To be accepted by everyone else. Do you know how hard is it to be a young female and feel totally alone? Growing up was no exception, my sibling is twelve years older than me so we never had anything in common (Plus she barely spoke to me) I learned to love being alone, and depending on myself to have fun.
When I move to Baltimore (@ 11 yrs) I was popular because I was the new girl in town. I was that shiny new toy that everyone wanted to play with so I was never alone. Everybody wanted to talk to me, and get to know everything about me. It wasn't until high school that I started to carve out a voice for myself. I was able to find out the things I'd like to do, what worked for me and what didn't. They say college is where you find yourself, but that process happened for me in High School.
Now as an adult, I feel like I'm right back in High School. I'm right back at the beginning trying to find out the things that works for me. This time I'm on my own. I have no friends, I don't have my mother, I don't have a father (Not that I ever had him) this time everything (good or bad) falls on my shoulders. I just want to be happy in my own skin, and successful. I know my success may take time but I'm willing to put the effort in.
All my life I just wanted to be accepted by my peers but no matter how hard I try it never happens, Its like...
Tristan J interrupts...
You cant be serious!!! Life is not about being normal, about fitting in with the crowd, or about doing what's expectant of you. You said 'No matter how hard you try to fit in, it never happens?' That's because you aren't supposed to fit in!! I know it can be hard as hell to be out there alone with no one to turn to but you are a strong individual, and If anyone can succeed, its you!! Remember, "Each one of you has something no one else has, or has ever had: your fingerprints, your brain, your heart. Be an individual. Be unique. Stand out. Make noise. Make someone notice. That's the power of individuals." -Jon Bon Jovi
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