Sparks.

I've been thinking about getting a boyfriend but Im really content with being single. So anyway I was approached by a guy this past week, he was chocolate, average height, average looking and persistent. So we chitchatted for a while that night in person until it started to rain. So he's older, late 20's but there were NO Sparks. I mean I thought he was cool, I would def like to get to know him better but Im in no rush to become the next Mrs. He on the other hand felt/feels differently. Last night we were texting each other and he kept asking 'did I think about the night we were talking?', 'have I thought about him', and 'did I feel the connection to him as he did for me?'. Im like WHOA!! For someone who literally just met me, these questions were way too much. It was like asking, after the first date, if I wanted to marry him. Sometimes I wonder if Im being too hard, or not opened minded enough to date, but what could my response be to his questions? Say no I didnt feel a connection and possibly hurt his feelings or lie, say yes and give him false hope? I did a lil of both, I told him "I enjoyed our conversation and look forward to many more"... Not a total lie!

Tristan J

According to Jonez

Dear Jonez,
I'm thirteen but I don't have a boyfriend. I'm a freshmen in high school and I know I should focus on school but all the other girls have boyfriends. I'm not part of the in crowd but I'm not a total geek either. How do I get guys to notice me?
-High school Loner

Dear Sweetheart,
Your thirteen! Enjoy being young and innocent. You are just entering high school, this yr along with your junior year is what colleges look at so this is when you should be the most focused. You don't have to do anything specific to get noticed by a guy. It's when you start doing things that attracts the most attention and usually it's the wrong type. A high school reputation is one that most people will identify you and if it's not a good one, it's hard to shake. I'd rather be known for who I really am rather than who people assume I am. And so what if the other girls have boyfriends? One thing about growing up you'll learn is to follow your own path. Who cares what the other girls are doing? Does it means they are happy? Of course not. The appearances people paint are just that, paint! It's a facade they put on to seem like they have it all. Until you walked in their shoes nevermind what you think they have. All that glitters isn't Gold or even Gold coated.

-Jonez

Sent from my iPod

she got a mean shoe GAME!

These are the perfect shoes to attend a wedding in. Now I just have to find someone getting married this summer. I believe they retail at 324$ and come in a greyish color with lavender filled flower, Enjoy!

she got a mean shoe GAME!

LAMB by Gwen Stefani is sooo sick this spring! First the colors caught my attention, then the woven fabric kept it there. Enjoy... oh and these retail for about 324$

…

Today I woke up to feeling uninspired and unmotivated. Its such a dreary day to feel like doing anything. I know its days like these where I’m glad I don’t work on Monday’s. Writing has been my love since, but I have new loves and new conquests BUT which one is the right one? I’m faced with a decision today, today marks the day of a start, a new beginning, a new direction. I think attending school to perfect your craft is a smart move to make but this is still a big decision. Do I or Don’t I? I want to make everyone happy in the decisions I make but sometimes I feel like I’m not being true to myself. I envy the people who just know what there going to do when they grow up! I’m still finding what makes me tick. IS it bad that several things “do” it for me?

I had to call my dad! I’ve never been one for extreme planning, Im more of a get up and go type of girl. Planning your life tends to make you miss it and Im trying to enjoy every second. Even though Im very excited about my future, Im going to have to upset some folks with the decision Im making today. My heart and mind are semi in agreement, so Im going to turn Culinary Arts School down. Stay Tuned.

Jonez

she got a mean shoe GAME!

Nine West is really doing they thing this season!!

she got a mean shoe GAME!

This is a perfect vacation shoe, I could see them looking realy cute with a bright colored bathing suit! Can we say New Orleans??

Jonez

My daddy luv me!

My daddy is improving sooo much! I love him like a dog loves a bone. Our relationship has gone thru many many changes but with each change things always get better. No we almost never see eye to eye, we are too much alike but as I get older I'm trying to see things from his point and surprisingly he is trying to understand me. Since my mother died I’ve felt so alone from adults. Even the relationship with my sister was strained but I'm happy to say that its getting better. I've always been really passionate about my point of view and sometimes I take it as a personal attack if you cant just hear me out. My father felt as the parent he knew what was best for me, and I would see why he could feel that way but I'm not a regular ‘child’. My mind runs at 100 miles per hour so he had to keep up and its not easy teaching an old dog new tricks.

The relationship changed when he realized I was really moving out of New York. I would no longer be in driving distance and, I'm assuming, having your child 3000 miles away made something click inside his head. He started to understand or perhaps pretend to understand why my whole heart was in writing. It took 24 years to have his full support and even though he desperately wants me to join the Air Force (That's never going to happen) he's willing to put on a good front where my writing is concerned.

So Even though my dad doesn't know my blog address, I want to say daddy I love you and I thank you for being in my very chaotic and cluttered corner. You are appreciated and I'm going to start visiting Brooklyn more often so I can spend time with my favorite guy!

-Tristan J

Are you hungry yet?

So I’ve been accepted into culinary arts school.. they were practically begging me to attend. I wrote a killer essay and had a stellar interview, I have a follow up interview on Monday. Easy Peasy! I know it seems like I go from one thing to the next and I do but everything is a passion. I love writing, I love cooking, I love travelling, I'm such a versatile person that I can always switch it up. That's a gift and a curse, because I'm always finding something new to get myself into.

I'm thinking studying abroad as well. What better way to combine all the things I love then travelling oversea, learning to cook while writing everything that happens to me? I'm so excited! Can you feel my excitement through the words I write? I believe classes start late next month, I'm not even sure but I’ll be ready by then. Yes, the summer is coming so can you say Restaurant sampling? I’ve done the bar hopping and even club hopping now its time to step my whole situation up. Ohhh I cant wait!! Happy Eating!

Jonez

she got a mean shoe GAME!

I want these shoes badly!!! I can picture myself in some white boat shorts with either a red stripped top or a navy blue romper. They retail at 90$, surprisingly there from Nine West. Enjoy!

JoNeZ

The Starving Artist...

My job is draining me of my creative juices man! I spend about eight hours here a day then when I go home I dont have anything left to put down on paper, and its rather annoying! Im a writer, PERIOD! It kinda annoys me, No, it annoys me greatly that Im not able to form sentences when Im ready to write!When I wrote my first novel, I had just been laid off so I had all the time in the world to sit at my laptop and write but now.... No such luxury. Oh how I miss those days! Yes I was very poor, had to move in with my dad but I was writing. Ideas flowed from me freely. My fingers couldnt move fast enough to keep up with everything I was thinking. Im at my happiest when Im writing! So I need to find a way to get that old thing back. Maybe its time to quit my job and focus solely on writing?

I'll keep you posted with my decision.

Jonez

"Just be good"

I adore this song by Letoya Luckett! Listen to the lyrics, IS that the type of man you're looking for?

-TJ

she got a mean shoe GAME!

I know this style of shoe isn't anything new but the trick is putting a spin on what's already out there. These are from Steve Madden and retail about 99$. Adding some multicolored stockings or even lace stockings will make the shoes stand out. Yea wearing them with boyfriend jeans are always appropriate!

Jonez

The boy is MINE!

Do you know how hard it is to be in love with someone who is in love with someone else? Well I do! Sometimes in life we make decisions and we have to stand by those decisions we make even though after time has gone by you find yourself still thinking of that someone. What I feel, still remains hidden from them and even if they knew I wouldn’t allow them to act on my feelings. I cant be responsible for someone knowing what it feels like to have a broken heart because of me. Yea I’m the classic martyr! To sacrifice my happiness for the happiness of someone I don't even know is everything. I’m not even sure If a relationship would even work because of the things I’ve recently found out.

Maybe that’s why I'm still single. (shrugs shoulders) I mean my subconscious knows I'm still in love, or in thought for someone else. So how can I get involved with another man? I'm not going to be able to give him my all since I have another man on my mind. Why couldn't be love be so simple? Why when a man hurt you, you could just brush those feelings you once shared with him off? I know I'm only human but I'm sick of feeling something for him when I know he has moved on. I think it wouldn't hurt so much if he was at least single but he isn't.

Yes, I admit it! I still love him but a relationship with him will never happen. I used to think that we both just needed time to grow as people before we could grow as a unit. But life has thrown a dagger into my already bruised heart. I wish him nothing but happiness with the lucky girl who is with him now. I know this is coming out of the blue but I’ve been holding it in since the break up. And most times when you say it out loud, you begin the healing process. Tonight, I’ve cried my last tear for Bob and its time that I truly try to move on.

Goodbye Bob, Finally!

~Tristan J

See you, See me!

I’ve always been the type of person who when I trust someone I put 100% into it. The funny thing is when I first meet someone I 9 times out of 10 don't like them…at all. I have to warm up to new people, however I can strike up a conversation with just about anyone about anything. Don't get me wrong I'm not rude to a new acquaintance I'm just not warm like I usually am. I'm just like whatever. There have been a handful of times when I met someone I'm instantly, umm drawn to them. Its like I cant help but to like them, the weird thing is I remember who whom that has happened to me with in my life. Third grade with Niki A, we became instant best friends, Moving to Bmore age eleven with Tracy  B, we became best friends as well and still are, Ninth Grade with Memi D, we became best friends too but eventually the friendship died out when I moved back to New York in the middle of my junior year and eighteen when I met Nicholi H, we’re best friends currently.

I was/am so fortunate to have met these people and befriended them. I know that I always seem like I’m in control and sometimes I have to be that way. Once you break through the walls that I’ve built to protect myself, Im such a sensitive and vulnerable person. Im such a big baby!! But hardly anyone gets to see that side of me because I have to make sure I know what your intentions are first. People are so quick to give up and label me a hassle but I’m the opposite of that. I’m loyal to the core and I’ll defend, protect, as well as build if I have to. Because I give so much of myself, I have to be extra careful of who I let in.

Just recently there was a situation. (Im going to try and be as vague as I possibly can without getting anyone in trouble.) But I received a phone call from someone looking for advice… and I should’ve been the last person they would have called. So I gave them the chance to talk, openly and freely, without making any type of judgments but I gave them my opinion just the same. I’ve always been a sucker for a sad story and like I said I’ll do all in my power to help someone who really needs it. The more I thought about it, the more it didn't make sense to me. Like Why call me?? I’ve since stopped thinking about it, but its a situation that doesn't concern me at all but if it does come back to me, I’ll speak up. The lesson I’ve learned is even if your advice is wanted, don't give it. Let the people with the problem deal with it, and at one point they are going to have to make the final decision anyway, So let them figure it out from start to finish. In no way is this to discourage those of you who want to keep emailing me your questions, but make sure you keep them anonymous!

Jonez

where'd you cop them? (Excessories Edition)

I've become a fan of Broccoli City since my first visit to Los Angeles, Shout out to my Greggy. The clothes are organic, dont know what that really means? Dont be shy, I didnt know what it meant at first either. This is Broccoli City's definition of what makes their clothing, "Organic". "We use sublimation ink products in printing our shirts, which qualify as "green ink". They are water-based, and, are measurably less harmful to the environment than any solvent based ink currently being touted in the industry…eco-, bio- or traditional. The result is an ink that when paired with our 100% organic cotton t-shirts, creates a finished product that is certifiably Green and USA made." And there you have it! Enjoy

she got a mean shoe GAME!

Now these shoes are totally nothing like I would wear but thats the beauty of them! Enjoy! Oh and they retail about 175$

According to Jonez

I know I havent really been answering your advice questions lately but I've been really busy with finding my own answers about questions I have. I got this question yesterday and even though I've already given my opinion to them I thought I'd post it here. Oh and I changed it a lil to keep the innoncent unknown.

Dear Tristan,
I just need a little advice about this guy I've been seeing. He has a lot of female friends but doesn't want me with any male friends. I thought a relationship is suppose to be an equal. If he thinks I been talking to another guy he would either physically hurt me or talk to his ex's about the situation even our sex life....knowing I'm not ok with his ex's in our business. They may try to use whatever he's says againt me to be with him. He say he not interested in them but it's hard to tell whats what. I love him dearly but dnt know how to walk away. Im scared of being hurt more than what I am n I dnt wanna hurt him either.....
-Brokenhearted Girl

Dear Brokenhearted Girl,
Its NEVER okay for a man to put his hands on you for any reason! If he's upset about what your doing, then he needs to walk away until he's able to speak on it. If there isnt any trust in the relationship then its bound to fail! Trust is the thread that keeps your mind sane, just knowing that he's where he says he'll be or that he's doing what he is supposed to do without any supervision. Its ok to be friends and keep in contact with an ex but to disclose imtimate details of his current relationship is wrong, especially if you've already let him know you're NOT ok with it. To me it seems like your boyfriend is a self-centered jerk who is only thinking of his self. Love can be a very tricky thing but are you happy? If you arent happy how can you make another human being happy? Sometimes we as women want to make everything better, to overcome every obstacle that we come across but we have to be able to identify whats worth saving. Walking away is indeed the hardest thing you may have to do but to save your own sanity it may be necessary. During the break up of a relationship someone is going to get hurt, thats just the way it goes because feelings are involved. I dont think you are ready to walk away just yet. I do believe when you're tired of the bullsh!t, you'll find the strength within yourself to leave and NOT look back. Keep me posted, I'll always be here to listen.

Tristan Jonez

she got a mean shoe GAME!

I recently purchased these on the advice of my stylist, Essence. I really wanted the navy ones (So Sexy) but sold out. I had to settle for these bad boys. No Im not going to be wearing a cowboy hat next but I had to have these. Just think, with a blue denim skinny pant and a maybe plaid shirt with a boyfriend blazer these might actually look hawt. We’ll see, you know I cant dress myself.

-Tristan J

You’re Beautiful

This song means SO MUCH to me! Growing up, being surrounded by Societies version of what is beautiful had me feeling slighted about my creamy coloring. As I got older I became more comfty in the skin I’m in. I love my toasted mocha complexion but the young girls growing up are having problems accepting what SHADE they are.

When are we going to understand that beautiful comes in more than light skinned or dark skinned? From creme vanilla to dark (yummy) chocolate we are all freakin’ gorgeous! If you don’t have pride in what you are, how do you expect, NO, demand that someone else does? For every man/woman who doesn’t like what they see in you, there are 10 others who do. We have to learn to focus on the positive rather than the negatives. Yes easier said than done but look in the mirror everyday and Say something like “I’m the most beautiful girl/boy in the World, and nothing or no one can make me feel anything different.”

Smile, because you are beautiful. Plus your inner beauty should radiate more than the physical.

Jonez

Just like the movies

So I’ve seen the movies “Fame (2009)”, “The Nanny Diaries” and etc and I’m wondering does life ever imitate art? I mean all these movies so that no matter what the main character will come out on top. Eventually there is a silver lining that, by the time the movie’s over, you’ll see. I mean does things ever really go that way? I remember watching, “Running Scared” and even though Paul Walker got the living ‘ish beat out of him, he STILL made it to the end. All the things that could go wrong in that movie, did, but he still came out a champion. Like serious?!!?

I cant remember watching a movie and feeling yes that’s how life is really like. As I write this I’m browsing my mental trying to remember something in any movie I’ve seen that would change my mind. Yes I get it, I know that we go to the movies so that we can escape reality BUT I would like to feel like I’m not being spoon fed bullsh!t. As I watch movies, my head starts spinning, with questions like is this really possible. I can go from being five minutes away from death and rise (Within an hr) to being the hero, the star of the show?!! 

Do I honestly want the main character to die? Yes! Every once in a while, yes. I want to witness the realness, to hate it, to love it, to understand and process it. Just like with books. I don’t want to ALWAYS read a hood book, why? Because I already know what’s going to happen. I want to be pleasantly surprised. I want to feel as though the author, threw such a monkey wrench into the game that I had NO IDEA, that what just happened, happened. I know I have to be the change that I want to see, So I guess it means Movie’s are next on the agenda? I’ll keep you forever posted!

Jonez

To be understood

How do you decide what to fight for? What to stand up for? When & How do you pick your battles and your wars?

Today I find myself faced with a problem unlike any other I’ve ever had because Its not my future at stake. Growing up anything I did, I did because I wanted to. I had a great relationship with my mother and she believed in me enough to allow me the freedom to make mistakes. No I didn’t have free roam to do whatever, regardless of what you believe I did have a rule or two, but my mother carefully watched as I found, through the fail and succeed method, what worked for me. Obviously this method was one that worked well for me and her, but communication was the key to it all. My mother happily allowed me to express myself to her, listened to all the things I wanted to do (trust it was alot) but she took the time to tell me what she wanted & expected from me in return. For example, If I stayed out then no matter what time I came in the house, I had to get up and go to school then next day and on time. I kept my end of the bargain, and on every Sunday night I was allowed to go to HammerJack’s with my friends. (Memories)

Im now in a position where I can, help for the greater good but in fighting for what I want the results are still unknown. I’ve always been the outspoken one for something I think is right. As I get older I’ve learned when to actually shut the hell up but do I do that now, when so much is on the line? This very problem has kept me up the whole night today but I’m still unsure of what to do. If only my mother was here now to be my backbone, my strength, then maybe I wouldn’t be such a punk. Yea yea I know, I act like Im not scared of anything but hey Im only human. (Strange huh!)

Jonez