See you, See me!

I’ve always been the type of person who when I trust someone I put 100% into it. The funny thing is when I first meet someone I 9 times out of 10 don't like them…at all. I have to warm up to new people, however I can strike up a conversation with just about anyone about anything. Don't get me wrong I'm not rude to a new acquaintance I'm just not warm like I usually am. I'm just like whatever. There have been a handful of times when I met someone I'm instantly, umm drawn to them. Its like I cant help but to like them, the weird thing is I remember who whom that has happened to me with in my life. Third grade with Niki A, we became instant best friends, Moving to Bmore age eleven with Tracy  B, we became best friends as well and still are, Ninth Grade with Memi D, we became best friends too but eventually the friendship died out when I moved back to New York in the middle of my junior year and eighteen when I met Nicholi H, we’re best friends currently.

I was/am so fortunate to have met these people and befriended them. I know that I always seem like I’m in control and sometimes I have to be that way. Once you break through the walls that I’ve built to protect myself, Im such a sensitive and vulnerable person. Im such a big baby!! But hardly anyone gets to see that side of me because I have to make sure I know what your intentions are first. People are so quick to give up and label me a hassle but I’m the opposite of that. I’m loyal to the core and I’ll defend, protect, as well as build if I have to. Because I give so much of myself, I have to be extra careful of who I let in.

Just recently there was a situation. (Im going to try and be as vague as I possibly can without getting anyone in trouble.) But I received a phone call from someone looking for advice… and I should’ve been the last person they would have called. So I gave them the chance to talk, openly and freely, without making any type of judgments but I gave them my opinion just the same. I’ve always been a sucker for a sad story and like I said I’ll do all in my power to help someone who really needs it. The more I thought about it, the more it didn't make sense to me. Like Why call me?? I’ve since stopped thinking about it, but its a situation that doesn't concern me at all but if it does come back to me, I’ll speak up. The lesson I’ve learned is even if your advice is wanted, don't give it. Let the people with the problem deal with it, and at one point they are going to have to make the final decision anyway, So let them figure it out from start to finish. In no way is this to discourage those of you who want to keep emailing me your questions, but make sure you keep them anonymous!

Jonez