I've never felt more alone or more isolated now than I have in the 23yrs I've been alive. I feel like no one can even grasp how I might be feeling. I want to scream, fight hell even runaway but I've done all of that before and NONE of it has helped. I'm tired of fighting, tired of trying, tired of running away. For the past 6 yrs I've been running. I made this semi detailed plan of how to leave NYC and move to where my heart may be content. I question my decision everyday. How can I be so confident I'm doing the right thing when I have no idea as to what the right thing is. The most obvious thing is usually always the easiest thing and I'm not 100% happy everyday.
At work I feel like I don't belong there and nobody wants me there. Shit feels like middle school all over again. I was always considered 'different' which is just a nice word for weird as hell! Thinking back on my childhood I spent most of the time alone. I've become so accustomed to being by myself that having 'friends' sometimes bug me out. Lately I feel like I've just been making messes and i'm tired of trying to clean them up. So imma go back to what i know for sure is a winning formula and be alone. I know for a fact I get along with myself 110% so I can be myself around myself and not eff ish up.
Philly this weekend??
-Tristan Jonez
Sent from my iPhone
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